NOOSA – Our first caption competition saw more than 50 enthusiastic readers produce some hilarious entries to represent what Malcolm Turnbull and Peter O’Neill might have been saying when this photo was taken at the recent Pacific island leaders’ meeting.
So let me take you through what I considered to be some of the cleverer and more humorous entries before coming to the grand champion (and a note about the next contest).
Lisa Kune was right up to date with this imagined exchange:
Turnbull: “How's your government stability these days?”
O’Neill: “At least my opposition can be bought.”
And Kasek Galgal showed a close knowledge of Australian politics:
O’Neill: “I'm telling you Mal, I won fair and square.”
Malcolm: “Stop. You sound like Barnaby when they found his Kiwi passport.”
Perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised, but there was a disproportionate number of entries in the fart jokes genre.
O’Neill: "Did you just fluff?'
Turnbull: "One of us did."
O’Neill: “Did you smell a fart?”
O’Neill: “Did you just fart?”
O’Neill “Must’ve been me.”
Sangiuwe (name supplied):
Turnbull (thinks): “Touch me and I’ll fart on you.”
Says something about our readers, I fear.
David Thomas came up with a clever exchange:
O’Neill: “Is that invitation to stay at the Lodge still open?”
O’Neill: “Mind if I bring some wantoks?”
And, as you might expect, politics loomed large in people’s imaginations.
Sebastian Kolotau offered this one:
O’Neill: “I tried clever election tricks but we were almost caught.”
Turnbull: “It’s been playing on my nerves; don’t try it again.”
While Adrian Rook came up with a brisk one-liner:
"I'm told your last election didn't go so smoothly either."
O’Neill: “Is Trump the dodgiest leader you ever met?
Turnbull (cringing): “Not by a long shot....”
Geoff Hancock wrote that the photo reminded him of an old Wayne Walker number sung by artists like Johnny Burnette and Mike Brady back in the sixties (Geoff had Manus on his mind):
Turnbull: “Little Boy Blue / That's my name / Little Boy Sad /You're to blame / You been sneaking / Doing my dirt / Now they call me / Little Boy Hurt.”
O’Neill: “Nobody in the world's / Gonna give you loving / As sweet as mine.”
Francis Nii perfected the art of subtlety in his entry:
O’Neill: “Wantok, yu tingting planti, bai yu kisim malaria ya?”
And Linda Saul thought there had been a clothing malfunction:
O’Neill: “Psst! You have a tomato stain on your sleeve!
John Pii’s entry was topical and to the point:
O'Neill: “Bro, don't worry about the PNG economy. I'm handling it.”
And Hogande Kiafuli thought he detected some underlying sexual tension:
O’Neill: “It's kiss-cam time. Shall we?”
Turnbull: “Get behind me, Satan!”
O’Neill: “Mal, I was marooned on that island, feeling rather blue till you came along, bro.”
Turnbull: “Pitsie, I’m blue too. I’ll hold your hand all the way. I'm all for same-sex marriage.”
But my original favourite, and the one I’ve selected to win the 50 bucks, remains Kenta Pora’s entry:
O’Neill: “Wssshhh…Toktok gud. Bai mipela kisim AusAID iet?”
Thanks to all of you who sent in entries. It was great fun reading them.