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11 August 2014


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God bless you John for not being vengeful & instead, being prudent, choosing to confine your suttering & pain within yourself, opting for peace rather than revenge, a true reflection of being a real Christian.

God will reward you for all your struggles. You are a model to your children, to the whole clan & to all of us. God be with us!

We do not usually publish comments in the absence of a full name. I have made an exception in this case - KJ

Akra John. While acts of aggression and use of excessive force of all kinds causing deaths are universal anti social behaviours your account takes a Melanesian, PNGan and most importantly a Simbu man to understand the agony you lived with.

You have made a decision to rise above the problem to set a high benchmark for yourself and your family back home. If the Nimai Dika & Tabare tribes and Simbu longed for peace than you have planted the seed for peace to germinate and blossom through your courageous act. Wakai wo.

Thank you Cathy.

John, your bravery and your wisdom exceed so many people in this country who we assume to be brave or wise on account of the positions they hold.

For you to resist getting into payback or demanding compensation shows you to be the highest of the high.

God bless you for being so noble and setting such a wonderful example to those around you.

Thank you Sil and Barbara. I have sincerely noted both your comments.

Thank you, John, for this very moving story of the tragic death of your father and how you coped with your feelings, especially your depression.

As a Christian, I would say that the God who made you was there looking after you all the time and helping you to come to terms with what happened.

You noticed a pattern of things happening to you and coincidences. I've had the same thing happen to me a number of times. I always like to believe that "coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous".

Matthew 5:9 - Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Kantriman, my nose rills sours; it is indeed a tragedy.

However, you have made a wise decision to not take any revenge.

Simbu men and women, even our clansmen nowadays, when they realise that you have a good education and is doing well will quickly plan your demise and hurt any member of your family at home.

Most times, they will start by being friendly to you. They will either tell you to stand for election, marry more than one wives, punch your enemy, etc.

Once you do that and end up in trouble they will keep their distance and leave you to fend for yourself.

At the end of the day, they want you to loose all and be a rabisman o meri like them at home. They hate to see you stand head and shoulders above them.

By, not taking revenge you have defeated the on lookers, your enemies and everyone else that prayed for your downfall. Continue to pursue your dreams and make them more jealous! Wakai wo!

Thanks Phil and Robin. Yes can you imagine, the relatives and those who thought they were connected to the culprit wanted to quickly arrange a "bel kol" gesture and eventual compensation.

I said no, for we will remember him for as he was alive and not for anything else.

Another point is that people have turned such events into an economic venture, but we said we are not going to allow that to happen to our father's death.

I've never been in a position where I thought it was necessary to seek revenge on another person so I'm not really qualified to pass judgement on those that do.

My observation, however, is that it is a very powerful and fundamental human trait.

Resisting the impulse to seek revenge must take a very strong strength of character. In that sense, not seeking revenge is hardly a weakness. Those that don't seek revenge must be stronger than those who succumb to the need.

I often wonder when I read about and see on television people who have been the victims of crime and violence seeking what they euphemistically call "closure". This closure seems to take the form of hefty gaol sentences for the perpetrator or large amounts of compensation. Some people pursue these ends for many, many years.

Compensation seems to turn the notion of revenge into an economic transaction. I often wonder how you can possibly place a monetary value on something like sexual abuse as a child.

Papua New Guineans, of all people, know how destructive revenge can be; it creates a never-ending cycle of violence. We see the same thing in the wider world. World War One was predicated on revenge and so is the current tit-for-tat violence in Israel and Gaza.

I'd say that your reaction and the way you handled the death of your father is the action of a thoroughly civilised man. If there were more people with your attitude the world would be a much better place.

Well said, John. Your reflections break a traditional veil of silence often draped over such subjects.
Appreciating your stance in regard for truth and justice, may I recommend a volume that has greatly benefited my wife and me over past decades?
Downloadable in .pdf (free of charge) I believe its contents may be of benefit and reinforcement of your walk.

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