Prime ministers Tony Abbott and Peter O’Neill met for a confidential discussion in Port Moresby on Friday. GARY JUFFA used his considerable mystical powers to attend the meeting as a fly on the wall….
Tones -Hi, how’s it going with Manus?
Pete – Well, fine, until this effort by pesky judges!
T - Hmmm, maybe more money will help?
T - But tell me, is Cannings going to be a problem?
P - To be honest, he’s the least of my worries. I’ve other distractions. Like the economy.
T - Can you also start resettling those asylum seekers?
P - That may be a problem.
T - But we have loads of money!
P - Hmm, interesting!!!
T - By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask, are West Papuans Melanesians?
P - Well, they’re Indonesians.
T - I thought so too.
P - We agree there.
T - What’s going on with Fiji?
P - Well they are doing fine, elections soon.
T - You think Frank might get back in?
P - People there love him.
T - Whatever!
T - By the way, what’s with the Borneo Pacific scam?
P - Well, um, they are compliant now, you know, after we removed ISO 9001.
T - Well what about Unitech?
P - Oh the inquiry did not produce the report we wanted.
T - Do the students have a point?
P - That’s irrelevant.
P - How about the dredging of the Great Barrier Reef?
T - Oh right. Well, we’re a sovereign country and do what we have to, you know!
T - Those young leaders, tell me things I could to be interested in.
P - Manus, West Papua, debt, unfair trade….
T - Boring!
P - Just kidding!
T - Saying one thing and doing another isn't so hard after all!
P - Tell me about it…
T - How about PACER?
P - Well, we are divided on that.
T - But you should accept all our exports!
P - How about ours?
T - Well, it doesn't work that way!
T - Anyway, thanks for using an Aussie bank mate.
P - Of course, we are forging true regional partnerships whenever we can.
T - So more Aussie mines soon?
T - Tell me, can I put on the budgies and go for a jog at Ela Beach and swim to Fisherman Island in the morning?
P - Tony, I don't think that’s a good idea.